The Discourse of Female Sexuality and Marital Rape in When I Hit You by Meena Kandasamy
Abstract:
When I Hit You or, Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife, is a semi-autobiographical novel
written by Meena kandasamy. This novel discusses the problematic issues of domestic violence,
marital rape, pseudo-communist ideals, and women's sexuality. Sexuality, being an integral part
of human life is related with the large spectrum of power politics both inside and outside home.
The contemporary woman does not shy from embracing her active sexual agency. Marital rape,
as an obstacle in the well being of women's lives, has not been sufficiently discussed, discoursed
and criticized in socio-cultural and legal planes. Implied consent in matrimonial alliances is
referenced against the criminalization of marital rape. This paper tries to theorize marital rape
alongside presenting inputs from legal and cultural planesIn this paper elucidates how the
Kandasamy has presented the picture of spousal rape with allusions and metaphors.
Key Words: Sexuality, Punishment, Marital Privacy, Identity Crisis, Ecriture Feminine
Meena Kandasamy is among the pioneer fiction writers in the milieu of contemporary Indian
English literature. The voice of Meena Kandasamy can be incorporated with the legacy of
feminist writers like Shashi Deshpande, Kamla Das, Kamla Markandeya, Anita Nair, Arundhati
Roy and others, who in their writings advocate for women rights in intimate sphere. She does
start from the domestic space like most of the women novelists but she infuses the wide power
structure of the society in her domestic space. The domestic space becomes a center of
exploitation and conflict but also an outlet for resistance and creativity. She stands different from
the preceding authors by adopting a militant like tone in her narrative strategies. She has carved a
niche in Indian Dalit writings too. In this canon also, she behaves differently from the
contemporaries like Om Prakash Valmiki, P. Shivakami and other prominent names. Rather than
the woe of being a minority author, she writes with anger against cast and gender politics. As an
author, Kandasamy believes that the real India has still not been presented in Indian literature.
She wishes to present the real India crumbling under the caste system and corruption. In an
interview to Ujjawal Una for the journal, Postcolonial Text, she expresses, “I write out of my
helplessness, let me have the thrill of being a guerrilla fighter without the fear of succumbing to bullets”
(Kandasamy 4).
The growth of Indian women writings is similar to the growth of entire corpus of South Asian
women literature. The collective voice of all these writings echoes the discontent of gender.
From its early period, Indian feminism sought for the equal, political, economic, social rights and
opportunities. The feminist strategies in the hand of female authors delved deep into issues
related to the lives of women at the intersection of caste, race, religion, and nationality. A
feminist approach in the literary texts not delimits its literariness but extends its reach to many
areas on social and individual experiences. Through the use of creative literature, women authors
engaged in to the examination of societal roles and gender. Not only on outward social progress,
the Indian feminists also paid attention to the inside of homes, the power struggle and cyclic
oppression inside the domestic spheres. Parallel to these literary struggles, developed the image
of ‘New woman’, who is from urban middle class, educated, conscious of self identity and ready
to revolt against the oppressive traditions The present generation of feminist writers are infusing
more number of individual rebellious voices in their narratives. Kandasamy ‘s novel When I Hit
You reasserts the image of new woman who are in quest of autonomy and also is representative
of a radical female resistance against the patriarchal defined concept of normality. Violence
against women is an extremely complex phenomenon, deeply rooted in gender based power
relations, sexuality, self-identity, and social institutions (Heise 12 ). In context of this text, the
base of perpetrating violence lies in the institution of marriage. Any strategy to eliminate
violence must therefore confront the cultural and social structure that perpetuates it. (Heise 13 )
Kandasamy voices the issue of marital rape in her fictional text When I Hit You or Portrait of
Artist as a Young Wife (2018). She presents an intense picture of domestic abuse and intimate
partner violence. Often sexual violence and intimacy are interlinked in the private lives of
victims. Husbands can inflict mental- physical violence on their wives because of sexual
jealousy. Spousal rape can also be counted as an attempt of controlling sexuality and disciplinary
action on part of the perpetrator. The sub title of this text, Portrait of Artist as a Young Wife is
allusive to James Joyce’s masterpiece Portrait of Artist as a Young Man. Though this is not a
coming of age story in the traditional sense but it narrates the story of a young woman who
gathers the courage to walk ingout of an abusive marriage; henceforth declaring independence
and identity. In terms of literary references this text has ample instances of intersexuality from
various literary traditions. The literary allusions used in this book are very different from the
traditional myths, cultural models and literature which altogether create the structure for the
acceptance of marriage and status quo with the women position in it. The narrative of the text is
divided into 14 sections. Each chapter is introduced by an excerpt from key feminist poets and
impactful literary voices like Margaret Atwood, Zora Neal Hurston, Gabriel Garcia Marquez,
and others. The narrative centers on the story of a newly wedded couple, who are unnamed
characters from different backgrounds. The wife figure, who is also the narrator is a middle-class
woman and works as a freelance writer. She is an intellectual and is capable of having a separate
identity. But marriage, the hastily made love marriage turns her into a battered personality. The
husband belongs to upper class and wife comes from middle class. Their adherence to Marxist
ideology brings them close and they get married. The husband works as a lecturer in Mangalore.
For the husband, this is his second marriage, after his previous marriage to an upper caste woman
ran aground. Apart from being a university is an ex-communist, guerrilla fighter and currently
serving as a university. In the guise of his communist manifesto he imposes violence, legitimate
violence and continues that violence in the marital bond. His Marxist idealism and reformist zeal
remain muted when he is confronted with the question of gender inequality in private life.
During the course of this marriage which lasts for four months 18 days, the husband
systematically subdues the wife with multidimensional violence which also includes marital
rape. Communist figures and tactics make recurrent features in the narrative strategy, in the
words, gestures, and explanations of the two central characters, the protagonist as the victim and
the perpetrator. The Protagonist describes her experience of violence and sexual abuse through
memories, love letters to imaginary lovers, poems and act of rewriting her own story. The
narration also focuses on the details and picturesque description, which shows the intensity of
emotional, physical and psychological violence that she suffers. The narrator cum protagonist of
the text remains unnamed so presumably it is the story any woman who is abused in marriage.
Literature Review
Feminist movement during the 1970s mobilized the mass towards the oppression suffered by
women in domestic spheres; these abuses were of wide ranges: of verbal, physical and sexual
natures. In Marriage and Morals, Russell defined that marital Rape is a widespread problem for
women which existed for centuries throughout the world (Russell 1). The law in most countries
defines rape as a non-consensual or a forced sexual act. Historically, in a large number of
countries, the law exempted husbands from the charge of rape. Albeit the problem of marital
rape still remains segregated from the mainstream discussion, this issue is not under curtain
anymore. It is chiefly studied under two ways: victim-offender relationship and displaying power
over the other gender. Radical feminists like Dworkins marked their displeasure against the
normalized way of the performance of sex calling it essentially violent and aggressive act on part
of masculine gender. A large number of rape victims personally know their offender and in
violent atmosphere intimacy and sexual violence become interchangeable (Gelles 341). Owing to
these theories it is implied that women can easily be the victimized through and within the act of
sexual performance. The concept of marital rape combines both sex and violence (343).
Brownmiller in her path-breaking treatise Against Our Will deducess that rape is a territory
where the man tries to prove their power and dominance over women (Brownmiller Introduction
14).
The first popular yet regressive name in the judicial review of marital rape is of the barrister
Matthew Hale. A British lawyer, and writer of 18th century, Hale commented that the husband
cannot be guilty of a rape committed by himself upon his lawful wife because of their mutual
matrimonial consent. According to his infamous opinion, the wife has given up herself in the
marriage contract which she can’t retract (qtd in Elwy 7). This approach is termed as ‘Implied
Consent’ of the wedlock. It has continuously been used as an excuse to justify and normalize
marital rape. Marital rape is also hurtful and traumatic like any other rapes, which receives the
moral censure and penalty from the society. But In the absence of any proper law victims
question their own experiences.
Owing to the fine line between consent and violence the literary representation of spousal rape is
scarce and problematic in itself. There is a controversial scene in the classic fiction Gone with
the Wind where the protagonist Scarlett is involved in brutal/ravishing scene of intercourse with
the character of Rhett Butler. Readers share different opinions about this peculiar violent
seemingly romantic scene. The emphasis on family and community has strong emphasis in the
Indian feminist discourse. Marriage is where women are able to be sexual persons therefore it is
probable that sexuality is seen as a central aspect of marriage in India (Puri 97). The conduct of
sexuality in marriage has many oppressive nuances related to right of motherhood, marital rape,
abortion etc. It was first in the works of Shashi Deshpande , Anita Desai, Kamla Das that the
institution of marriage came under questionable scrutiny. In Bending Vine Shashi Deshpaande
indirectly talks about marital rape. Mira a deceased character, is present in the fiction with her
diary and poems. It is through reading her poems and diary entries, the narrator Urmi deduce that
Mira must have been the victim of marital rape. In Binding Vine she writes, “It runs through all
her writing, a strong, clear thread of an intense dislike of the sexual act with her husband, a
physical repulsion from the men she married (Deshpande 135 )”.
When I Hit You is the second fictional text which directly addresses the problem of sexual
violence by husbands. The difference between Deshpande and Kandasmy’s treatment of marital
rape is that Mira’s writings show a tendency of self blaming in her diary while in When I Hit
You, the protagonist has a resistant tone. In the previous studies centered on this novel, the
researchers have focused on the writer’s dilemma, the notions of Ecriture Feminine, and
domestic violence. RK Ranguati uses Elaine Showalter’s approach of woman as writer to focus
on the position of protagonist in a simultaneous position as a female author. In its application,
feminist literary criticism is inseparable from gender-based analysis. In this paper I am focusing
on the protagonist’s expression of female sexuality and violation of her sexual autonomy by her
husband. Female sexuality and the discourse of marital rape are two major concern of the present
paper. For justifying its purpose the paper also focuses on Kandasamy’s literary strategies and
socio –cultural responses to the crime of marital rape.
The Manifestation and Suppression of Sexuality
Servile femininity supported by society, creates scope for the abuse of women. Kandasamy
shows the courage of discussing sexual politics. With protagonist as her mouthpiece, she reflects
over the sexist biases prevalent in social and private behavior. The telephonic conversation with
her own mother makes her realize that it is one woman who coerces other women to live in
abusive marriages (Kandasamy 45 ). She is not allowed to express herself naturally during
intercourse; as her husband feels ashamed of it. Her active sexual agency makes him
schizophrenic. The husband prefers marital privacy over wife’s acknowledging her sexuality.
The communist husband observes her inter coital behavior under the lens of class struggle (87).
He accuses the wife for treating sex as a performance, compares her active sexual agency with
whoredom and feminism. Doubtful about her sexual history, multiple times he asks the narrator
about her liaisons with other men. When husband tries to shame her sexuality, she broods over
the courage of eighteen century Tamil poet, Andal. She had expressed her desire for the divine
Perumal, erotically manifesting her spirituality in Nachiar Tirumozhi. But in 21th century also,
the sexist biases are everywhere. In the sexist language of men, after fifth man every woman
becomes a temple (Kandasamy 172). In Imperial Leathers Anne McClintock says, “Controlling
women’s sexuality . . . was widely perceived as a paramount means for controlling the health and
wealth of the male imperial body.” (qtd in Alwy 4).
The narrator’s husband says that writing articles about female sexuality in English is submitting
to the “Vulgar Imperialist Culture”. By writing articles about sexuality she is allows all the male
readers to imagine herself in their sexual fantasies (Kandasamy 75-76). The text has many other
references to women sexuality and the continuously impending threat of sexual violence to all
women. A neighboring teenage boy molests the narrator when she was eight in the guise of
finding insects in her body (61). The husband compares the job of writing to prostitution
addressing writers with phrases like three inch of cleavage, plenty of sex, drinks, and lovers (75-
79). Kandasamy exposes the patriarchal attitude towards women which sees them as a baby
producing machine. The husband hits the wife as she is not mentally prepared for conceiving his
child. The reproductive rights of a woman belong not to her but to the husband and his family.
The narrative also speaks about the construction and materialization of female body in words.
With her recalling of the molestation in childhood to sexual exploitation in guise of love, and
then marital rape by her husband, she affirms of the constant vulnerability of female body. The
phallocentric language leaves little room for the historically victimized woman. ‘Slut’ is an
English word that verbally indicates towards women wanting sex. When spoken in Indian
languages presumably Hindi its connotative meaning has different layers. It extends its meaning
to dirty, disrespectful and quarrel monger woman (172). The materialization of female body is
fragmented in this text. In the mouth of husband, female body is materialized in disgusting
words, in terms of sexual organs and as reproductive organs only. When the husband rapes his
wife he justifies his action by calling her whore, bitch and other such names. The wife as narrator
muses over the language usage against the selfhood of women. Protagonist is the victim of
marital rape, her sense of bodily integrity destroyed by her husband. Yet in her diary she writes,
“The only body I feel empowered to share is the body I fashion out of my words” (234).
Awareness of the vulnerability of female body is heightened in the experiences of women on a
daily basis as they make the transition from childhood to adulthood. The narrator redefines
herself through her writings. “My woman’s body, when it is written down, is rape resistant”
(240) Reproduction and motherhood which are the natural cycles of life can be a medium of
subjugation. Husband shames the protagonist saying, “You are a zero yourself. You do not want
my children. You will be out of business as a whore if you become a mother” (Kandasamy 199-
200). Kandasamy highlights the lack of woman’s role in reproductive sexuality in the patriarchal
societal notions. Her personal experience lets her be connected with the universal subjugated
experience of womanhood. She speaks about the slave woman who is recognized by her feet.
She speaks about how woman with open hair were accused of being wanton in Kaamsutra. She
talks of Sita who was made to walk on the golden funeral pyre as a proof of her chastity. In her
diary, she tries to find the contrasts between Sati system, Dowry system and bride burning. Not
from the myths only, she further reflects of the news about the rape and murder of nine year old
Surynelli girl.
Marital Rape and its Representation
Marital rape is defined as any unwanted sexual intercourse or penetration (vaginal, anal, or
oral) obtained by force, threat of force, or when the wife clearly does not give consent.
Woman raped by her husband has to live with her rapist, which is not just a frightening
memory of the attack from a perverted stranger. The wives use many self-deceptions to avoid
facing the realities of an intolerable marriage, which are the fear of loneliness, loss of
financial security, separation from children etc. Societal spouses, financial dependency,
absence of law, previous emotional attachment also make them stay. Very few times women
are able to walk out of sexually abusive marriages. Wife rape is also attributed to two very
serious primarily male problems – violence and predatory sexuality. Marital rape is a such a
manifestation of the male sexuality, which is oriented to control and domination, for proving
masculinity in terms of power superiority, competitiveness, and aggression. Sexual violence is
a complex issue with its reasons lying not only in socio cultural mores but also in the rooted
complexes of individual psyche. In this novel, the social mores combined with hypocrisy and
sexual jealousy of husband makes him rape his wife.
The wife as narrator in this novel says about her husband that he uses penetration not only as
an act of carnal pleasures but as an act of punishment (171). Tension between husband and
wife often changes into domestic violence further escalating towards sexual violence. Marital
rape tends to be a behavioral pattern with its aim towards normalizing the imbalance in
marriage; which can set the rebellious behavior right. Class, education, profession and family
are not enough to assure women the safety of being sexually abused. Role, responsibility and
identity crisis on part of the husband can also cause marital rape. The act of dwindling into
wife starts from the lessons of Marxism, her writings being criticized, phone being snatched,
continuous pressure for conceiving, her emails being deleted and finally changes into
everyday spousal rape. The changing pattern of the husband’s behavior initiates from
educating her on Marxist thought, controlling her online freedom, breaking objects, inflicting
violence on self to scare her, hitting her physically, then to the regular rape followed by the
threat of murder. It is also his sexual jealousy leading towards marital rape. He wants sexual
disabled state for his wife. His intimate violence becomes an excuse for her speedy
conceiving of their child. The narrator uses the reference of reading Kate Millet and Susan
Brownmiller to speak about her own rape. The man who rapes me is not a stranger who runs
away (167). She speaks of the shame that rape brings to her but still, she decides to give voice
to this unspeakable shame of rape. The narrator as a wife observes how the silence about
intimate violence saves wives from embarrassment in public spheres. How can you ask help
from society and the judiciary unless the act is a crime in the legal social plane? The text also
records the socio cultural responses to divorced women as victim of marital rape. The lady
Police inspector asks her if she was sexually dissatisfied and did she not give dowry (230).
Here the protagonists’ experiences are similar to situation and conflicts a woman has to go
through under the pressure of societal norms, the misogynistic attitude of male towards women
and prejudice within the Indian Marriage system. Kandasamy’s autobiographical details and
interviews also back up this story line. Kandasamy says, “I believed that no man, no husband
could lay a hand on me. I was fierce and feminist and no-nonsense. Then, within an abusive
marriage, I actually realized that your strength is also what makes you a perfect target for abuser-
Men” (in interview with Bhandare, 2017).
The reader gets to read about sexual violence in the text, on the formal plane it does not meet
justice in narrative. The responses she gets are as follows, ‘How much of this wasn’t really
consensual (219). Why did she not run away? (218). It is similar to ‘Double Victimization’
often faced by rape victims. The husband keeps growing in his career, as an Emeritus
professor working on ‘Sexuality and Masculinity’ having followers in academia and Marxist
liberal groups. The consequences of spousal physical and intimate violence break the
protagonist’s belief in a stable romantic relationship. She leaves the country and settles
abroad. Her writing plane acts as an antidote to fight with the traumatic memories.
The narration of the rape scene does not adhere to realism. It is an allusive and violent
depiction of sexual violence which follows a repetitive pattern. It is also indirect and hinted
by the use of different metaphors and traumatic replay in the narrator’s psyche. She speaks of
her vagina as silent ‘Red Dot’ to be abused by her communist husband (145). She describes
his husband using home appliances and gadgets like cord, belt etc to hit her. Kandasamy
takes the risk of describing more of intimate violent details; she describes about her husband
using lubricants to win over her resistance and how her body also learnt to surrender in order
to survive the physical pain (167). The irony lies also in the act of spousal rape, the husband
figures claims that he once shot a soldier dead because the soldier raped a woman. Same man
who takes retribution of the rape of an unknown woman rapes his own wife. The constant sexual
and physical abuse makes her afraid of death. She has the strong will of coming as a survivor
than dying as a victim. She references her fear with the historical reference of Althusser
strangulating wife Helen, in a fit of madness. The narrative further draws the parallel between
‘Death’ and ‘Rape’. After murdering the protagonist, what the husband might say as a defense of
murder. A no meant yes, she wanted to die herself. She gave ‘Non Consensual Consent’ in her
murder (244). When she fears for her life she remembers the fate of all random women who are
murdered by their husbands. She recalls the infamous story of Cyanide Mohan, a man who gave
his wife quick medicines for aborting babies. The wife suddenly met her death next day in
washroom and this way Cynaide Mohan killed many of his wives (257).
The different metadiegetic levels of narration reflects the various notions about women’s
sexuality, left ideology, body politics , gender and how language shapes the reality. Kandasamy
also makes the use of ‘Color technique’ and ‘Focaloization’ in this fiction. Red, black and blue
are the continuous color motifs to describe about the short unhappily wedded life of the narrator.
Omnipresence of ‘Red’ color indicates towards the presence, influence, critique and
deconstruction of Marxist ideology. She feels ‘Blue’ after her husband assaults her. Out of
‘Blue’ the cousin tells the narrator of her husband’s first marriage. Her husband gives a ‘Colored
Report’ to her parents about her improper behavior as a wife. His husband becomes ‘Red’ with
rage now and then. Through the use of color motifs she describes her various moods and
approaches of individual resistance. In the first chapter the protagonist creates the filmography of
Primrose villa in her imagination where a husband and wife live happily. This is a highly
focalized scene, in which the narrator puts herself in the character of wife and observes the
household of Primrose Villa. The stability of marriage depends on the docility and meekness of
wife. The protagonist as wife confesses, “I am the wife playing the role of an actress playing out
the role of a dutiful wife watching my husband pretend to be the hero of the everyday. I play the
role with flair. The longer I stretch the act of the happily married couple, the more I dodge his
anger. It’s not a test of talent alone. My life depends upon it”. (Kandasamy 20).
Conclusion
This fictional text opens up the problematics of spousal rape and its ill effect on the well
being of women. Marital rape is among the least talked issue in the Indian subcontinent. The
class system in India creates clash in marriage. The middle-class upbringing of the narrator
does not suit with the communist ideas of her husband. The novel also reinforces the reality
check that sexual offences are committed by normal human beings. This text also subverts rape
myths which believe in India that rape takes place only in absence of education or is present in
rural area. Rape is counted and counted only when it’s gory: when your intestines are pulled out"
(Kandasamy, 2017). In section 375 of the Indian Penal Code, the definition of rape involves
all kinds of sexual assaults which do not include consent. Still part 2 of the same section
excludes forceful sexual intercourse between husband and wife from being considered as rape.
(qtd in Vandana 15). Marital rape has been impeached in approximately 106 countries and is
documented as a violation of human rights. The statesmen must have a second thought about
criminalizing marital rape in India. Law of a particular nation helps its citizen in their identity.
The theory of ‘Linguistic Determinism’ suggests that structures of languages determine the
mode of thought and behavior of the cultures in which they are spoken. One’s personality is
decided by the use of language attributed to describe them. Language and literature must
make a way for women to make their destinies and coining their own expressions. The image
of the woman in Indian English fiction has undergone change from the last decade. Accepting
marital rape is an encouragement to the culture of violence. Through her writing, Kandasamy
reflects on the sociology of violence against women of present urban society and largely in India.
The protagonist in her tirade against the experience of marital rape becomes the spoke woman of
this generation who are not satisfied with the subjugated position in marriage. The educated
women today are justly inclined to the transcultural discourse of equality in marriage. Through
the character of this unnamed protagonist, Kandasamy is able to convey that woman should have
their own reproductive and sexual autonomy. The regulation of reproduction and exploitation of
women’s bodies and labor are both a tool and a result of the systems of oppression based on race,
class, gender, sexuality, ideology and social structures.
Bibliography: