Forced Consent and Honour: Locating Women in Sunita Ningombam’s Short Stories
Abstract
The concept of honour has inextricably been linked to women’s bodies and sexuality in patriarchal societies since time immemorial. The paper seeks to critique patriarchal constructs of honour in relation to the concept of forced consent in cases of nupi chenba, a widely-practiced custom peculiar to the Meitei society of Manipur, as represented in the literary works of Sunita Ningombam. Though the practice has evolved to embrace consent, its deeply patriarchal roots legitimizes violence and abduction as ‘custom’ even today. Even in non-consensual cases, women are forced to marry their captors as she is considered a woman who has lost her honour. This naturalization of a gendered moral code where a woman’s value is equated with her honour problematically resting upon her virginity is critiqued in the paper. Ningombam’s works explore larger questions on gender while reflecting the hypocrisy of a conservative Meitei society, and of which two short stories are examined here.
Keywords: honour, forced consent, patriarchal, Meitei, nupi chenba
“The destiny that society traditionally offers women is marriage. Even today, most women are, were, or plan to be married, or they suffer from not being so. Marriage is the reference by which the single woman is defined, whether she is frustrated by, disgusted at, or even indifferent to this institution” (Beauvoir 451). According to Beauvoir, marriage as an institution of patriarchy functions through a gendered and imbalanced power dynamics, and has always been presented in different terms for men and women, never fostering a reciprocity (452). Similarly, Mary Wollstonecraft in A Vindication of the Rights of Woman points out the unequal relationships between men and women in marriages even though she does not go so far as to reject marriage. For her, the education of girls and relationships between men and women should be improved so that women can become better wives and better mothers. In other words, there is no outright rejection of marriage as Beauvoir was to do later, and hence no space or identity that could be ascribed to women outside a marriage. Additionally, Wollstonecraft goes on to call marriage the foundation of social virtues (91) pointing out that in her society, it is marriage alone that brings women prestige and elevates her social position (15).
Pativrata or the ideal wife as envisaged by the patriarchal Indian Hindu society is an honourable woman who is subservient to her husband and serves him like a god. She is chaste and self-sacrificing, and puts the husband’s needs before her own. She does not ask questions, and bears all forms of violence and suffering as meted out to her. Any deviation from these values would render a woman immoral and unchaste in the eyes of her family and the society. Non-conformity to these wifely ideals would therefore mean a transgressive woman who is looked upon as cheap and immoral. As Myungnam Kang comments: “The pativrata, as the symbol of patriarchal society, has been recognized as the ideal woman in the brahmanical tradition. She accepts chastity, submissiveness and wifely devotion as the highest qualities of their selfhood…. Her sexuality is totally controlled by her husband” (Kang 206-207).
These ideals still form the foundations of marriage in most patriarchal societies, including in India, as also in Manipur. In the Indian context, marriage has come to connote an even more complex relationship, linking it with honour and sexuality where the onus lies solely with women. Hence, according to Jackson, sexuality in India is legitimate only within marital relationships “where non-marital sexual relationships have normally been seen as transgressive—particularly for women” (Jackson 53). Women’s sexuality therefore becomes inevitably linked to the question of honour, and its control and regulation as integral to the maintenance of patriarchy. Thus, family honour is located in the behaviour of women and “the woman’s body is the terrain on which patriarchy is erected” (Rich 55): “‘Izzat [family honour] seems to be a female-linked commodity. Its preservation is incumbent upon women’s behaviour alone’” (Jackson 55). Such a skewed concept of honour or izzat is then instrumental to upholding and perpetrating a notion of purity, automatically linking a woman’s virginity with her honour.
The ideals and practices of marriage in the sanskritized Meitei[1] society bears a stark resemblance to those of the North Indian Hindu societies, reinforcing almost identical patriarchal ideals. Most of the concepts associated with marriage including the pativrata, kanya dan and dowry, are internalized through different names and have subsequently been naturalized as tradition. Thus, marriage is considered sacrosanct and inevitably linked to questions of honour and sexuality. The term for marriage in Manipuri is Luhongba. “Lu which means head in archaic Manipuri and Hongba to solemnize. Hence Luhongba is the ceremonial union of the Lu of the man and the woman....” (L, Marriages: Its Rules). The forms of marriage in the Meitei society may be broadly classified as marriage by—engagement, capture, nupi chenba[2], keinya katpa and loukhatpa[3]. Some of these socially-sanctioned forms of marriages are more problematic than the rest from a feminist perspective —marriage by nupi chenba is an instance. This paper will hence examine the concept of honour and its link with the notions of women’s sexuality and forced consent, as represented in the works of Sunita Ningombam.
The history of women’s writing in Manipur is traced to early 1930s when a few women started writing in journals. However, 1965 is popularly regarded as the emerging point for women writers with the publication of Thoibi Devi’s novel Radha and MK Binodini’s anthology of short stories Nunggairakta Chandramukhi [Chrysanthemum Among the Rocks] (Nahakpam 27). This is attributed to women’s late access to formal education that came only in 1935 with the opening of the first school for girls in Imphal (24). The publication of Thoibi Devi’s novel and Binodini’s anthology of short stories is thus accepted as the beginning of women’s writing in Manipur.
While the works of these first-generation writers (24) were shaped by their search for the ideal woman, the “second-generation” writers explored the image of the new, educated, middle-class women while “negotiating with the boundaries of traditional patriarchal society….” (31). Different from the conservative trends observed in the preceding generations, the “third generation” (38) writers became more vocal about issues such as women’s rights and gender equality. They raised their voice against restrictive, gender-biased customs, and explored new ideas such as women’s rights and gender equality. These new generation writers also began to question the loss of women’s individuality in a marriage, women’s sexuality, as also questions on transgender/non-binary individuals (Nahakpam 40).
Sunita Ningombam belongs to this third generation of Manipuri women writers who identify with a “new awareness of women’s condition in Manipuri society and the attempt to delineate a new place for women outside the subjugation of patriarchal, traditional and religious moulds” (Nahakpam 38) while reflecting these new sensibilities in their works. Her writings explore questions of honour and sexuality, dissecting patriarchal society’s association of traditional morality and honour solely with women. Ningombam won the Sahitya Akademi Award for her short story Khongjee Makhol [Sound of Anklet] in 1997, with her latest publication being the anthology of short stories Akaiba Mingshel [Broken Mirror] published in 2004.
The question of honour is inextricably linked with that of female sexuality. As Elizabeth Jackson remarks, “In general, Indian feminist discourse tends to concur with the radical Western feminist view of sexuality as central in maintaining women’s subordination” (Jackson 59). This paper will attempt a critical examination of the concept of honour and its association with traditional morality in the Meitei society as represented in the literary works of Sunita Ningombam.
The short story “Cheiraak” [Punishment] revolves around the question of honour, with the entire burden of upholding it placed on women. It narrates the story of Memcha an unmarried woman who is abducted by Mahendra who declares his ‘love’ for her. Though she does not consent, Memcha is left without a choice than to accept the captor as her husband as mandated by an essentially gendered custom. She is fully aware that her brothers and sisters-in-law do not want her to live with them anymore as she has ‘lost’ her honour—Memcha is a woman whose body has been marked, and therefore no more respectable.
The practice of nupi chenba precedes most marriages in the Meitei society of Manipur. It is a custom of a woman and a man spending a night together out of the woman’s home. Often equated problematically with elopement, this most widely practised ‘custom’ itself is problematic as it is rooted in the old practice of marriage by capture wherein marriage was forced upon women without their consent, and they accept it out of fear of social ostracism. For instance, the practice of marriage by capture which finds mention in historical and literary records, offers a precedent:
In ancient times, the kingdom of Manipur constantly faced internecine feuds or warfare amongst the communities…. Marriages of women captured in war, by the captors was a normal mode of obtaining wife. In this case marriages happen against the will of the women. Here the marriage is indeed a forced consent where the women concede out of fear or helplessness or the socially reproduce[d] internalized notion of chenba to be synonymous to marriage even if it is against her will. (Lisham 41)
Though this practice of ‘elopement’ has evolved to embrace mutual consent, its deeply patriarchal roots still legitimizes violence and abduction as ‘custom’ even today. In cases where there is no consent and women are abducted, they are forced to marry the perpetrator of the crime, because she has been marked as a woman who is no longer a virgin and thereby a woman who has lost her honour. A patriarchal society that thrives on the ownership and control of women’s bodies and sexuality brands her as impure and dishonourable if she is not married after the elopement. Thus, even if she wishes to resist the forced consent, she is forced to accept her offender as her husband, as she is no more desirable to other men. As Lisham remarks:
The normalization of the forced consent is embedded in the social and cultural psyche of the Meiteis. The menfolk usually contemplate that after faba [capture] and elopement, the woman bears a marker of that of chelurabi[4] in the society and consequently she would accede without questioning. (Lisham 41)
The concept of honour hence has undeniably been linked to women’s sexuality which is made synonymous to her morality/honour. Patriarchal moral codes dictate that unmarried women remain virgins before marriage and chaste after marriage, in order to protect their family’s honour. In such a system where a woman’s virginity is linked with her honour, men also become active defenders of women’s honour. It is also ironical that men have to protect women from other men as is represented in this work. Three young boys allegedly belonging to an armed group are shown questioning the perpetrator of the ‘crime’: “Why did you force a woman who didn’t consent?’ (Ningombam 77) The writer in the story discusses consent and patriarchal society’s normalization of violence/rape in the name of custom of nupi chenba, a practice deeply rooted in violence against women.
In Ningombam’s story, Mahendra colludes with Tombi, a woman from the locality and abducts Memcha. Though she does not actively participate in the forced ‘elopement’ of Mahendra and Memcha, Tombi is an enabler who endorses patriarchal ownership of women, and therefore an agent perpetrator of patriarchy who legitimizes force and violence against women by men. She tells Mahendra— “Don’t be foolish Mahendra, she is a woman, it doesn’t matter if she consents or not, she is yours if you get hold of her” (Ningombam 76). Tombi’s statement underlines the problematic nature of forced consent in the Meitei society where women accept the perpetrators of violence as their husbands out of fear of social ostracism. Thus, despite Memcha not giving her consent and attempting to resist Mahendra’s advances, she is ultimately forced to accept her captor as her husband. That she has ‘lost’ her honour in the community’s eyes, coupled with the fact that she lives with her brothers and sisters-in-law who are not willing to have her stay with them after the incident (Ningombam 79) are the reasons she quietly concedes defeat.
Ningombam thus critiques the complicity of women in their own subjection:
Women break women, women mock at women, women ostracize women. And men wait to take advantage of this weakness/difference/disagreement. She does not have the strength/mettle to stand up against this because she is also a woman of this society. She has no right to live with freedom, nor can she demand it.” (76)
Memcha is victimized by a ‘custom’ that condones toxic masculinity in men like Mahendra, and is unjustly labelled as a woman who has lost her honour. Despite her willingness to live independently, society does not offer her the space nor the conditions for her to do so. Her body is territory that has been marked, and she would be labelled cheap and immoral if she remains unmarried after the elopement, regardless of the fact that she did not consent. Memcha is thus forced into a loveless marriage in order to save herself from dishonour and social ostracism. As the writer remarks, this is the punishment that she has to accept—her only fault being born a woman (Ningombam 80). Thus, in the short story, Ningombam realistically depicts the struggles and vulnerabilities of women in a patriarchal society who are first victimized and then forced to accept their captors as protectors out of fear of custom.
While Memcha is trapped in marriage out of fear of social ostracism, Sanahanbi in the short story “Leekli Machet” (A Shard of Glass) chooses to be ostracised and rejects the society that ostracizes her. Ningombam in this short story enunciates her protest against a patriarchal society that metes out injustice one after another to women, and critiques the male-dominated society for its hypocrisy. It narrates the story of Sanahanbi who faces the brunt of a custom that repeatedly dehumanizes her.
Sanahanbi is discarded by her lover Naoba after ‘elopement’, and later again rejected by the family of her childhood love Saratchandra as she is a woman who has lost her ‘honour.’ She is condemned to lead a life without dignity—ostracized and not worthy of respect, love and marriage. The image of a glass shard to outline Sanahanbi’s identity is significant. She is broken, discarded and has no use like a broken shard of glass. Unlike Memcha who falls victim to custom, Sanahanbi is emboldened by the ostracism and declares her rejection of the society that rejects her. Thus, she appropriates the broken glass image in an act of reclaiming her self and even sounds a subtle warning to society that a shard of broken glass can hurt if one steps on it (Ningombam 38).
In this short story, the writer challenges a patriarchal moral code wherein different codes apply to different genders. Sanahanbi, like Memcha in the first short story, is an unmarried young woman and is considered immoral because she remains unmarried after ‘elopement.’ As different from forced consent in Memcha’s case, her ‘elopement’ with her lover is consensual (35), but she is abandoned by her lover who marries another woman. This incident locates her in a position where she is even considered a threat to unmarried men as evident from Saratchandra’s mother rebuking her for no fault of her. While the older woman never once holds her son responsible for the growing affection between the two, she puts all the blame on Sanahanbi. An unmarried Sanahanbi leads a life of stigma and occupies a vulnerable position within the society that victimizes her unjustly.
The internalization and normalization of a prejudiced moral code where a woman’s value is equated with her honour problematically resting upon her virginity, as prevalent in a patriarchal Meitei society is realistically depicted by Sunita Ningombam. The victim is blamed while there is no penalty for the perpetrator of force/violence, reinforcing the patriarchal stronghold in a conservative society. The practice of ‘elopement’ is thus problematic due to its historical and cultural roots giving men a patriarchal license to mark their territories over the bodies of women. Repeated incidents of forced consent in cases of nupi chenba has paved way for normalization of violence against women, including the extremities of rape, which are in turn justified by the social and cultural sanctions of a patriarchal society. The ‘custom’ that enables the victimization and oppressive control of women and their bodies, and its critique finds expression in the works of Manipuri women writers, including those by Sunita Ningombam.
Ningombam’s works explore larger questions on gender while simultaneously reflecting the lived realities of women in a patriarchal Meitei society of Manipur. The two short stories discussed above offer a critique of patriarchal constructs of honour and its undue association with women’s sexuality. In conclusion, Nahakpam’s remark on the new generation of women writers becomes relevant—that despite their inability to transgress “socially-accepted boundaries, their stories are first instances when women writers start to look beyond the existing tropes of the suffering mother, the enduring wife of an oppressive husband, the righteous widow and the fickle, unruly wanton woman” (Nahakpam 41). Sunita Ningombam in resisting violence and forced consent resists gendered customs of a patriarchal society.
Endnotes